Fibbing Friday: Freaky Friday

Di (Pensitivity101) is the host of Fibbing Friday where truth is not an option!
To join in tag your answers #FibbingFriday and link back to Fibbing Friday.

1. Why were people given middle names?
Social distancing: it’s important to have at least two syllables between your first and last name.

2. Why do we cover our mouths when we yawn?
In case the bird of opportunity flies in and takes a dump on your tongue.

3. Why do we say ‘Bless You’ when somebody sneezes?
Not anymore we don’t, now we shriek “covid” and run for the hills.

4. Why do we wear a wedding ring on the third finger of the left hand?
For the same reason, people out on bail or probation wear an electronic tag.

5. What was the original use of wind chimes?
To annoy the neighbours.

6. What was the original purpose of bridesmaids?
A backup for the groom in case his bride did a runner.

7. What is the significance of the first butterfly of the year you see being white?
The Klan are back in town. Who ya gonna call? Bigotbusters!

8. What does it mean if your right ear itches?
You are not Vincent Van Gogh.

9. Why is Good Friday a good day to cut your hair?
It’s Salome’s day off in the salon, she does a brutal short, back and sides.

10. What should you give a friend who gives you a knife as a gift?
A fork.

One-Liner Wednesday: Unlucky For Some

LindaGHill hosts One-Liner Wednesday. This is not a prompt, which is a good job because this is a scheduled post and today is all about the number thirteen.

Sometimes you lose, sometimes you win, sometimes you are unlucky, but that’s life.
Jerome Boateng

Superstition is the poetry of life.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

From QuotesGram

Fibbing Friday – Very Superstitious

Frank (PCGuy) and Di (Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday. To join in, write a post with your answers to the 10 questions below and tag it #FibbingFriday. Then link back to Fibbing Friday so others can enjoy the answers and join in too!

1. How many years bad luck do you get if you break a mirror?
One for each of your wrinkles.

2. What shouldn’t you walk under?
An elephant with diarrhoea.

3. Why are black cats crossing your path considered unlucky?
They act as the decoy: the rest of the cluster is creeping up behind you.

4. Why do we ‘knock on wood’?
The doorbell’s broken.

5. Why are horseshoes considered lucky?
Their magnetic properties stop horses from flying away

6. Why do we cross our fingers for good luck?
If you cross your eyes, you just look simple.

7. Why is 13 considered an unlucky number?
Because in many Asian languages, it sounds like the word for dentist.

8. On the other hand, why is 7 considered lucky?
The one sounds like the phrase meaning free money.

9. What is signified by itchy hands?
A nasty case of eczema.

10. Why should you not put shoes on the table?
Because any pregnant woman in the vicinity will try to eat them.