With the help of Frank (PCGuy), Di (Pensitivity101) and Melanie (Sparks From a Combustible Mind), I’ve been telling some walloping lies. And today’s scheduled post has some strange phobias to deal with…

What are the following phobias a fear of?

Podophobia?
Pod casts.

Glossophobia?
Shiny surfaces.

Barophobia?
Weather forecasts.

Ecophobia
Greta Thunberg.

Herpetophobia?
Cold sores.

Pteridophobia?
Flying dinosaurs.

Genuphobia?
Catholics.

Algophobia?
Twitter algorithms.

Selenophobia?
Selena Gomez.

Pyrophobia?
Fear of Pyrex®

With the help of Frank (PCGuy), Di (Pensitivity101) and Melanie (Sparks From a Combustible Mind), I’ve been telling some walloping lies. Here are some of my whoppers from over the years.

What are Dead Man’s Fingers?
What my last attempt at making homemade sausages looked like.

Why do we carve pumpkins into Jack-o-lanterns for Halloween?
Because there are laws against doing it to people.

How many eggs can a peacock lay in its lifetime?
Trick question! Peacocks are marsupials and carry their young in pouches under their beaks, just like seahorses.

What is a hot toddy?
A boiled frog.

What’s the difference between a blimp and a blip?
About 3 points in Scrabble™

What’s the difference between “going on holiday” and “taking a vacation”?
A passport.

Why is it traditional to eat turkey for Thanksgiving dinner? (In the US, at least.)
The Cranberry Act of 1790 made it law. Turkey was the only meat that didn’t get stuck in George Washington’s teeth.

What is “Festivus”?
An unpleasant condition affecting the sinuses

Finish the song title I’ve got you under …?
Surveillance. I like watching you. Nice Brazilian by the way…

What is a flagon?
A very tired dragon.

With the help of Frank (PCGuy), Di (Pensitivity101) and Melanie (Sparks From a Combustible Mind), I’ve been telling some walloping lies. Here are some of my whoppers from over the years.

What is tic, tac, toe?
Terminal athlete’s foot.

What is noodling?
Something your mother warned you about. It WILL make you go blind.

What is meant by pigeon-toed?
It is an illegal move in karate when you confuse your opponent by flapping your arms up and down, then floor him with a well-aimed kick to the head.

Why is saying bless you when someone sneezes considered to be good luck?
Because, with correct enunciation, perfect diction and good aim, you can spit your germs into their face.

Who sang I wanna hold your hand?
Captain Hook

What can be known as a ‘Little Gem’?
This is what happens to a gentleman’s “family jewels” when he doesn’t wear warm underwear and stays out in the cold for too long.

What is a sphincter
An unmarried sphinx

What is a xertz?
The noise made when passing a painful stool.

What is a sickly hue?
The ability to produce projectile vomit on demand.

If today is your birthday, what star sign are you?
Saggyhairyass: 1st April to the 12th of Never.
Character: Uptight but unhinged on a full moon.
Motto: fools rush in where horses must be led.
Lucky vegetable: cabbage.

With the help of Frank (PCGuy), Di (Pensitivity101) and Melanie (Sparks From a Combustible Mind), I’ve been telling some walloping lies. Here are some of my whoppers from over the years.

What happened when Aladdin rubbed the lamp for the first time?
His trousers fell down, and his genie popped out.

According to the song, what was it that “My True Love gave to me” on the 8th day of Christmas?
Herpes

How many ugly sisters were there?
None after Prince Charming had been at the ale. Beer-goggles – they’re a kind of magic!

What was The Globe?
Patrick Stewart’s nickname on the set of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

What is a Thunderball?
Take a peek in Thor’s underpants – he’s got two of ‘em.

Where would you find a Bunny Girl?
In Glenn Close’s saucepan.

What is the book Far from the Madding Crowd about?
One woman’s quest to find a clean toilet at Glastonbury.

A Day in the Life by the Beatles lyrics: Woke up, fell out of bed and then WHAT?
Called for the nurse.

What colour ribbon is used to adorn old oak trees?
Either red or green, which is a bummer for the colour-blind.

Who had 99 Red Balloons?
Pennywise.

With the help of Frank (PCGuy), Di (Pensitivity101) and Melanie (Sparks From a Combustible Mind), I’ve been telling some walloping lies. Here are some of my whoppers from over the years.

What is a kapok?
A rude word in the Vulcan language.

What is a mouse potato?
The answer to the question: what do you get when you cross a tuber with a small rodent?

Where did the phrase ‘Out for a duck’ originate?
Cockney rhyming slang for visiting a lady of the night.

What is a postulate?
A bizarre hazing ceremony for newly ordained vicars.

What exactly is a “rhetorical question?”
A banana.

What does it mean to “go ’round Robin Hood’s barn“?
A polite way of asking to use the toilet.

What is bacteria?
An extreme version of Bukkake involving camels.

What are ‘cobbles’?
What my nan used to call my grandad’s dangly bits

What is meant by jumping bail?
When a hangman, with a nasty sense of humour, uses an elastic rope

What is a lupin?
A baby werewolf.