Stream of Consciousness Saturday: Who’s a silly Canute, then?

LindaGHill hosts Stream of Consciousness Saturday.
The prompt this week is least-favourite word. Enjoy!
The post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing
(typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
Click HERE for the rest of the rules, and to play along.


Warning: Article contains adult themes and numerous references to front bottoms.

Yes, we’re delving into country matters today with a word I truly loathe.

Before I rant on, let’s have a moment of confession: I have been known to use this word, but not in a sweary-cussing way. Think bedroom, and I’ll leave the rest to your overactive imagination.

However, it never spews forth from my mouth as a curse. I frown and tut at anyone who uses a word for my lady-bits as an insult. (The feminism is strong with this one!). But honestly, how did a simple four-letter word (etymology still debated and caution advised before clicking on the link) become the most offensive one in the English language?

Ever tried sending an email with Scunthorpe in the subject bar? Believe me, it will be blocked. Same thing happens if you spell Weight Watchers™ as one word. Daft thing, as slurs go, the one lurking in Weight Watchers ™ doesn’t rile me as much as the one in Scunthorpe.

This is completely irrational, because offence is taken not given, and it’s my problem if I get my knickers in a knot over it – freedom of speech and all that. But can we not reclaim this word and put it up there with fanny, pussy, minge, and muff? These make me laugh, along with lady-garden, frou-frou and quim.

I should mention at this point that I am a potty-mouthed little scamp. When in full flow, I can make a docker blush. But I cannot abide that particular combination of letters. Am I the only one with this hang-up? Dr Freud would have his work cut out analysing this neurosis.

And one last thing before I go: how do men feel when euphemisms for their most intimate parts are used as insults?