It’s World Baking Day – anyone got a bun in the oven?
Cooking and baking are both physical and mental therapy. Mary Berry
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake. Mitch Hedberg
LindaGHill hosts One-Liner Wednesday. This is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the theme. Check out her blog for the rules, read other one-liners, and join in the fun!
Following from last week’s theme, I’ve gone for a spot of musical nepotism. B*Witched are an Irish girl group comprising twin sisters Edele and Keavy Lynch, Lindsay Armaou and Sinéad O’Carroll. They formed in 1996 and their struggle for chart success was aided and abetted by Sean Lynch of Boyzone. The twins are his little sisters!
I wasn’t their target audience back in the day, but I have fond memories of all the women at my friend’s wedding dancing to this after the bouquet-throwing ceremony. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but my knees ached for days afterwards.
If you’ll excuse me, I’ll sit this one out.
(Some people say I look like me Dad) Oh-oh, hey, hey, oh-oh, oh-oh I say, hey boy, sittin’ in your tree Mummy always wants you to come for tea (oh-oh) Don’t be shy, straighten up your tie Get down from your treehouse, sittin’ in the sky (oh-oh)
I wanna know just what to do Is it very big? Is there room for two? (oh-oh) I got a house with windows and doors I’ll show you mine if you show me yours
Gotta let me in, hey, hey, hey Let the fun begin, hey I’m the wolf today, hey, hey, hey I’ll huff, I’ll puff, I’ll huff, I’ll puff, I’ll blow you away
Say you will say you won’t Say you’ll do what I don’t Say you’re true, say to me (say you will) C’est la vie
Say you will say you won’t Say you’ll do what I don’t Say you’re true, say to me (get a life!) C’est la vie
Do you play with the girls, play with the boys? Do you ever get lonely playing with your toys? (oh-oh) We can talk, we can sing I’ll be the queen and you’ll be the king (oh-oh)
Hey boy, in your tree Throw down your ladder, make a room for me (oh-oh) I got a house with windows and doors I’ll show you mine if you show me yours
Gotta let me in, hey, hey, hey Llet the fun begin, hey I’m the wolf today, hey, hey, hey I’ll huff, I’ll puff, I’ll huff, I’ll puff, I’ll blow you away
Say you will say you won’t Say you’ll do what I don’t Say you’re true, say to me (say you will, yeah) C’est la vie
Say you will say you won’t (oh, say you will) Say you’ll do what I don’t (say you will) Say you’re true, say to me (what are you like?) C’est la vie
Tales from the Saturday Shed: The prompt this week is DARK. For those with the time or inclination: Feel free to join in!
You can always spot them. They stand in the shadows, whether on the bridge or at the end of the platform. Leave them long enough and, nine times out of ten, they change their minds and go home. It’s the people that shuffle forward you need to watch out for. They’re the ones who make a mess of the station and screw up the schedules. Not to mention the trauma to the drivers and cleaning staff. So, this is my job, stop the jumpers.
I started with empathy and an open but non-judgemental listening ear. But after ten years of using the recommended approach, I’ve developed a radical method of saving lives. I sidle up and whisper three words in their ear: Go on, jump.
That stops them. They look around in shock, and then you have them because once they make eye contact, they’re yours. That’s when you put your training into action, talk them down, give them a cup of tea and wait for the station counsellor to arrive.
But the last one gave me a few problems. She was standing at the edge, obviously waiting for the through express. I manoeuvred into position, making sure she could see me. I was six feet away when she looked up.
“What are you waiting for?” I said. “Jump, bitch, jump!”
She smiled, and the train thundered past. I shrugged and wiped the blood from my face. You can’t win them all.
Ella Craig 
