One-Liner Wednesday – Maybe I just wish it was warmer…

LindaGHill hosts One-Liner Wednesday   
Check out her blog for the rules, read other one-liners, and join in the fun!

If you saw a heatwave, would you wave back?
Steven Wright


You can’t have your kayak and heat it.
Denis Norden


It was quite a challenge to make people eat crab ice cream.
Heston Blumenthal

Fibbing Friday 8th May 2021 – Secrets & Lies

Frank (PCGuy) and Di (Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday. To join in, write a post with your answers to the 10 questions below and tag it “Fibbing Friday” or #FibbingFriday. Then link back to Fibbing Friday so that others can enjoy the answers and join in too!

The rules are simple – truth is not an option, but lies, silliness, and surrealism are.

What is a menagerie?
An explosive piece of confectionary made from whipped egg whites and sugar.

What is Victoria’s Secret?
Her merkin collection.

What is the secret of The Black Magic Box?
The way all the soft-centred chocolates disappear, leaving only the nut crunches and the teeth shattering toffees.

What do hurricanes, tornadoes and mosquitoes have in common?
They are all four-prop planes manufactured by Lockheed Martin.

What do Merlin and a Griffin have in common?
They both lost to Slytherin in the finals of The Quidditch World Cup.

Complete this famous trio: Sooty, Sweep and ……………………..
The Holy Ghost.

Who are the Telly Tubbies?
Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo.

Why are Hymns not called Hers?
Because the early Christians were not terribly woke.

Whose signature logo is The Whopper?
The boy who cried, wolf.

What is skiffle?
The weird mould that grows on damp leather.

Fibbing Friday 30th April 2021 – Splitting the Difference

Frank (PCGuy) and Di (Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday. To join in, write a post with your answers to the 10 questions below and tag it “Fibbing Friday” or #FibbingFriday. Then link back to Fibbing Friday so that others can enjoy the answers and join in too!

What’s the difference between “going on holiday” and “taking a vacation”?
A passport.

What’s the difference between a “rubbish bin” and a “trash can”?
The size of the gusset.

What’s the difference between the “boot” of a car and the “trunk” of a car?
Only one of these can be used for stowing away elephants.

What’s the difference between a “nappie” and a “diaper”?
One is a short snooze, and the other is a chemical compound with only two atoms.

What’s the difference between the “pavement” and a “sidewalk”?
The time of day, during rush hour you can only fight your way through the people with a crab-like sideways scuttle.

What’s the difference between “chips” and “French fries”?
About two pounds of spuds.

What’s the difference between the “bonnet” of a car and the “hood” of a car?
Feathers, flowers, and two yards of ribbon.

What’s the difference between a “rubber” and an “eraser”?
Painful sex followed by an unexpected pregnancy.

What’s the difference between a “flannel” and a “washcloth”?
Nothing, they are both nicknames for regiments in the British Army.

What’s the difference between a “pram” and a “stroller”?
One is an Indian flatbread, and the other is a chocolate-covered raisin.

One-Liner Wednesday – Effortless

LindaGHill hosts One-Liner Wednesday   
Check out her blog for the rules, read other one-liners, and join in the fun!

Self-realisation is effortless. What you are trying to find is what you already are.

Ramesh S Balsekar