One-Liner Wednesday – What the fork?

LindaGHill hosts One-Liner Wednesday  
Check out her blog for the rules, read other one-liners, and join in the fun!

You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.

Dorothy Parker

And here’s a bonus one-liner…

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

Stan Laurel

When MMLM met SOCS…

Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie’s prompt for the Saturday Mix – Lucky Dip today is to write a poem in the form of a tetractys.

LindaGHills prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is the word roc.

Roc
Big Bird
Sesame
Open or street?
Becoming a stream of consciousness fail

Think of Sinbad the Sailor or maybe
Dwayne Johnson, meh
Writing a
crock of
crap!

Fibbing Friday 21st May 2021 – The Myth of Advertising

Frank (PCGuy) and Di (Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday. To join in, write a post with your answers to the 10 questions below and tag it “Fibbing Friday” or #FibbingFriday. Then link back to Fibbing Friday so that others can enjoy the answers and join in too!

The rules are simple – truth is not an option, but lies, silliness, and surrealism are.

TV/Advertising slogans this week. You all probably know the real answers, but what could they have advertised or referred to……………………… ?

You either love it or hate it.
Pedigree Chum dog food.

They said you want to ‘Splash it all over.’
Domestos Bleach

Why have cotton when you can have silk?
Luxury tampons.

‘Because you’re worth it‘
American Express.

‘It does exactly what it says on the tin.’
Spam

What ‘Gives you wings’?
Mescaline – it’s the only way to fly!

Where will you find an ‘awful lot of coffee’?
Starbucks – with the emphasis on the word awful.

What is ‘Any time, any place, anywhere…?’
Twitter.

What is soft, strong, and very, very long?
A Wonder Bra.

Name the product where ‘A little dab’ll do ya’
Haemorrhoid cream.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday: Cakey and the Growth

LindaGHill hosts Stream of Consciousness Saturday.
The prompt this week is GROWTH
The post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing
(typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
Click HERE for the rest of the rules, and to play along.


We called them Cakey and the Growth.

She was sweet enough to give you diabetes. Nothing was too much trouble for her.

He clung to her like ivy, as if he wanted to burrow under her skin and become a part of her.

She worked in the finance department and he worked in IT. At break, lunch, and after work, he would wait outside her office like a well-mannered stalker.

They would embrace and walk off together, arms entwined, their heads close as they talked in soft voices to each other.

Cakey and the Growth, always together, finishing each other’s sentences, leaving parties early because they couldn’t bear to share their time with other people.

She would smile her sugary smile, and he would hold on as if he couldn’t bear to let her go.

Cakey and the Growth, when two became one.

For a time.

Cakey is no longer with the Growth. She is still inside and he is still in a coma.

The Growth turned malignant and to save herself, Cakey excised him.

She may be incarcerated, but at least now, she is free..

Fibbing Friday 14th May 2021 – Pants on Fire

Frank (PCGuy) and Di (Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday. To join in, write a post with your answers to the 10 questions below and tag it “Fibbing Friday” or #FibbingFriday. Then link back to Fibbing Friday so that others can enjoy the answers and join in too!

The rules are simple – truth is not an option, but lies, silliness, and surrealism are.

What exactly is a “rhetorical question?”
A banana.

What is meant by a “hair’s breadth”?
That silky feel when you wash’n’go and your hair shines all day!

How long is a “New York minute”?
The time it takes to send someone to Coventry.

What does it mean to “fly by the seat of your pants”?
This happens when you annoy the bouncers in the bar who then give you the bum’s rush.

What does “by the skin of your teeth” mean?
When an overeager dentist scrapes both the plaque and enamel from your teeth.

What are “the dog days of summer”?
The follow up single to Terry Jacks 1974 hit, Seasons in the Sun. It bombed.

What does it mean to “go ’round Robin Hood’s barn“?
A polite way of asking to use the toilet.

What does it mean when a project “gets the green light”?
It is very eco-friendly…and probably woke.

What does it mean to “eighty-six” something?
When you run someone over in a Type 86 tank.

What or where exactly is “file thirteen”?
Agents Scully and Mulder know, but they ain’t telling…