Welcome to the world of Country Music, but not as you know it. Forget Stetsons and slide guitar because today we are embracing Scrumpy and Western.
This is a style of music from the West Country of England, which is my neck of the woods, and I was raised on it. Rousing choruses of Blackbird were often heard emanating from our house.
And when I got to the (legal) age of buying alcohol, Drink up Thy Cider became my new anthem.
Cider (or scrumpy, as it is fondly known) is not a gentle apple drink in the UK, but a weapon of mass destruction that renders most humans immobile. I haven’t touched a drop in over twenty years: I value a functioning liver.
But here’s a rural treat with Adge Cutler and his Wurzels singing a naughty little number about going there twice daily.
When I were a lad I were so glad to go out in the daytime
With me fork and a bottle and a cork to help out in the hay time
While tossin’ hay upon the mound met young Lucy Bailey
And I said my dear, are you often here, she said, yes sir, twice daily
We had such fun in the summer sun, Lucy were so thrillin’
Sweet and pure but I weren’t sure that young maid were willin’
Till one day among the hay we was working gaily
She up’s and slips and zummut rips and I went there twice daily
(Oh Ah Oh I did too)
She said dear I do feel queer think I outa tell ee
Tant new bread she sadly said that swelling up me belly
Told her go to Doctor Joe off she went so gaily
He gave a dollop of a gurt thick jollop and said take this twice daily
(Orrible stuff twere )
Now Lucy’s dad were very mad, chased I ’round the hay mound
Said my son you’ve had your fun, the time has come to pay now
My girl you’ll wed, the old man said as he waved his shotgun gaily
If you don’t, he says, I’ll put some lead and you won’t go there twice daily
(Ow painful that)
Well the very next day in the month of May held the ceremony
Paid off the vicar with a gallon of liquor, rode to church on a pony
And the village folks from miles around waved and shouted gaily
There’s no doubt you’ll get found out if you goes there twice daily
(They were right too (I did)
Now to Lucy’s joy she had a boy, what a little darlin’
Round and fat as a Cheshire cat, perky as a starlin’
Skin were smooth as a cider jar and they called him Buster Bailey
Fed him on swedes and charlock weeds and a pint of scrump twice daily
(Fat little bleeder too)
Now weem old, our story’s told, forty years together
And we often stray where we tossed the hay in that old time summer weather
Kids we’ve got full ten or more, we goes on quite gaily
Tho’ I’m old and grey when I’ve gets me way I still go there twice daily
Songwriter: Adge Cutler
© EMI Records