1. Why do we say it’s raining cats and dogs?
Because it’s more polite than saying: pissing stair rods.
2. What is meant by ‘The elephant in the room?’
Similar to Elvis has left the building, but bigger.
3. What is downsizing?
4. What is a Panto Dame?
A breathless Judi Dench or Maggie Smith.
5. What is pumpernickel?
An item required by No.4 to help get the breath back.
6. What’s the difference between poison ivy and poison oak?
Poison oak or toxicodendron pubescens can cause a nasty rash in the pubic area, whereas Poison Ivy makes a lovely vegan relish.
7. What is a plimsoll line?
The follow-up to Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke – it bombed.
8. What are waffles?
The mottled effect left on your skin after a run-in with poison ivy.
9. How can you beat inflation?
Marry a rich person.
10. What is catsup?
A cat tripping on catnip.