Song Lyric Sunday: The Magic Flute

The theme from Jim Adams is songs that mention a musical instrument.
The song must contain a reference to the prompt in the title or the lyrics.
If the song does not meet these criteria, please explain why you chose it.


Welcome to Smut Sunday with a bit of Blarney from the Emerald Isle. Well, it is nearly St Patrick’s Day! Although technically, the song I’ve chosen is based on an old Scottish air. But let’s not get picky.

Seven Drunken Nights, to quote Wikipedia, tells the story of a gullible drunkard returning night after night to see new evidence of his wife’s lover, only to be taken in by increasingly implausible explanations.

As the song progresses, the naughtiness factor increases, which is why you only find evidence of the first five verses. Believe me: the last two are filthy. And for those of a prurient disposition, I will include the version I used to sing back in the day, courtesy of my eldest brother’s rugby playing friends.

But back to the song, The Dubliners released it as a single in 1967 (although with only five verses!), but it still made it to number one on the Irish charts and number seven in the UK. And here they are celebrating their 25th anniversary with a TV special in 1987.

As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, “Will you kindly tell to me”
“Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?”

Ah, you’re drunk, you’re drunk
You silly old fool, still you can not see
That’s a lovely sow that me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a day I’ve travelled a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, “Will you kindly tell to me”
“Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be?”

Ah, you’re drunk, you’re drunk
You silly old fool, still you can not see
That’s a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a day I’ve travelled a hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, “Will you kindly tell to me”
“Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be?”

Ah, you’re drunk, you’re drunk
You silly old fool, still you can not see
That’s a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a day I’ve travelled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, “Will you kindly tell to me”
“Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be?”

Ah, you’re drunk, you’re drunk
You silly old fool, still you can not see
They’re two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a day I’ve travelled a hundred miles or more
But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before

And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, “Will you kindly tell to me”
“Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be?”

Ah, you’re drunk, you’re drunk
You silly old fool, still you can not see
That’s a baby boy that me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a day I’ve travelled a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before

Songwriters: Ciaran Francis Bourke, Ronald Joseph Drew, Luke Kelly, Barney McKenna & John Edmund Sheahan.
© Carlin Music Corp

Saturday night involved a hand on part of his wife’s anatomy where his ought to be. She insisted this was a lace shawl. Hmm, he queried, knuckles on a shawl?

Then the poor man arrived home on Sunday to find a “thing” where his old “thing” should be. Silly man, that was a carrot from her mother. He wasn’t buying it, as he said; b*llocks on a carrot, sure I never saw before!

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