“Mum, a naked man just walked past the kitchen window.”
“Does he have only one testicle?” asked Dora.
“I didn’t look that closely.” Janice spun around in shock. “How many naked men have you had in your garden?”
“A cup of tea, dear?” Dora giggled and poured milk into their cups.
“The tea goes in first.” Janice tutted and pulled her chair out from under the table, scraping it along the floor.
“Mind the lino,” murmured Dora.
“Sod the lino! What is that man doing gallivanting around in the buff in your garden?”
“I said he could. Biscuit? Oh, I keep forgetting about your latest diet. You see, his place is overlooked by the nursery school, so he couldn’t do it there.”
“But what’s he actually doing?”
“Probably one of his rain dances. He has fanciful notions like that. But I do enjoy Desmond’s company.” Dora reached over and patted Janice’s hand. “Your father would have liked him.”
“It’s lovely to have a man about the place again. No one can replace Ted, but Des is so sweet. He put up my new shelves and fixed the leaky bathroom tap.”
“Not in the nude, I hope.”
“Don’t be silly, far too dangerous. Why do you think he’s only got one ball?”
“He wore my cooking apron and a pair of rigger boots.”
A pounding on the patio door made them both jump. Desmond stood there with only a Union Jack flag covering his glory.
“Dora, my love,” he called. “I think it’s worked.” He waved the flag at them as he skipped backwards.
Janice sat there with her mouth open. Something wasn’t right here.
“You’ll catch flies that way,” laughed her mother. “Come on, get undressed and let’s dance naked in the rain.”
“You must be joking!”
“Don’t be such a stick in the mud.” Dora was already down to her petticoat.
Janice picked up her handbag. “I’m sorry, mother, but I’m going now.”
“Your loss.” Dora gave her a hug and a kiss. “Goodbye, darling.”
Janice was halfway down the drive before she realised Desmond had two testicles.