Song Lyric Sunday: An Immaculate Deception

The prompt for Song Lyric Sunday from Jim Adams is
Fraud, Hypocrite, Phoney, Pretender, or Snob
The song must contain a reference to the prompt in the title or the lyrics.
If the song does not meet these criteria, please explain why you chose it.

I am risking the wrath of Jim this week. (Gulp!). Drops voice to a whisper: my song does not contain any of the prompt words. But, in my defence, it incorporates the themes of fraud and phoney, and contains a cross-dressing pretender.

May I present Sister Josephine, she’s a funny little nun, or is she?

Written by Jake Thackray, a journalist and poet from Yorkshire, England. After hearing it, you will understand why he was dubbed the North Country Noël Coward. Thackray’s songs are cheeky, rude, sweet, and satirical: sometimes all at the same time.

Hopefully, my choice this week about a fake nun will be enough to clear me of the sin of not using the prompt in either title or lyrics. I now rest my case and throw myself on the mercy of the court.

Oh, Sister Josephine,
What do all these policemen mean
By coming to the convent in a grim limousine
After Sister Josephine?
While you, Sister Josephine,
You sit with your boots up on the altar screen.
You smoke one last cigar.
What a funny nun you are!

The policemen say that Josephine’s a burglar in disguise,
Big bad Norman – fifteen years on the run.
The sisters disbelieve it: No, that can’t be Josephine;
Just think about her tenderness towards the younger nuns.

Oh, Sister Josephine,
They’re searching the chapel where you’ve been seen,
The nooks and the crannies of the nun’s canteen
After Sister Josephine.
While you, Sister Josephine,
You sip one farewell Benedictine
Before your au revoir.
A right funny nun you are!

Admittedly her hands are big and hairy
And embellished with a curious tattoo.
Admittedly her voice is on the deep side,
And she seems to shave more often than the other sisters do.

Oh, Sister Josephine,
Founder of the convent pontoon team,
They’re looking through your bundles of rare magazines
After Sister Josephine.
While you, Sister Josephine,
You give a goodbye sniff of benzedrine
To the convent budgerigar.
A bloody funny nun you are!

No longer will her snores ring through the chapel during prayers,
Nor her lustful moanings fill the stilly night.
No more empty bottles of altar wine come clunking from her cell.
No longer will the cloister toilet seat stand upright.

Oh, Sister Josephine,
Slipping through their fingers like Vaseline,
Leaving them to clutch your empty crinoline
After Sister Josephine.
While you, Sister Josephine,
Sprinting through the suburbs when last seen
Dressed only in your wimple and your rosary.
A right funny nun you seem to be!

Songwriters: Jake Thackray
© Bucks Music, Bucks Music Group Limited

4 thoughts on “Song Lyric Sunday: An Immaculate Deception

  1. Ella, I am a mellow dude without any wrath. If they make a Sister Act 3, they should use this song, but it may be a bit too British. Thanks for sharing this and that toilet seat should have been a real clue about her/his identity.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s