Song Lyric Sunday: If it wasn’t for chip fat, they’d be frozen!

Jim Adams is the host for Song Lyric Sunday. This week’s theme is Alternative Rock.


Today’s alternative rock pick is the Kaiser Chiefs, and that’s just one of their genre tags, along with Indie-pop, Brit-pop and power-pop. Aren’t labels a fun thing?

Anyhoo, the Chiefs are a British band that formed in Leeds in 2002. They are still banging out their Indie-Brit-Power-Alternative rock, but I’m choosing a track from their 2005 album, Employment.

I Predict a Riot is one of the group’s signature songs and describes the dangers of a drunken night out.

Stay sober and stay safe, my friends!

Watching the people get lairy
It’s not very pretty I tell thee
Walking through town is quite scary
It’s not very sensible either
A friend of a friend he got beaten
He looked the wrong way at a policeman
Would never have happened to Smeaton
An Old Leodensian

La… la, la, la, la, la, ah… la, la, la, la, la

I predict a riot [x 4]

I tried to get to my taxi
The man in a tracksuit attacks me
He said that he saw it before me
And wants to get things a bit gory
Girls scrabble ’round with no clothes on
To borrow a pound for a condom
If it wasn’t for chip fat they’d be frozen
They’re not very sensible

La… la, la, la, la, la. ah… la, la, la, la, la

I predict a riot [x4]

And if there’s anybody left in here
That doesn’t want to be out there, oh

Watching the people get lairy
It’s not very pretty I tell thee
Walking through town is quite scary
Not very sensible

La… la, la, la, la, la, ah… la, la, la, la, la

I predict a riot [x4]

And if there’s anybody left in here
That doesn’t want to be out there

I predict a riot [x4]

Songwriters: James Rix, Andrew White, Charles Wilson, Nicholas Baines & Nicholas Hodgson
© Imagem Songs Ltd., Imagem Songs Limited

The Saturday Shed: Future Tense

Image source: pixabay.com

Tales from the Saturday Shed: The prompt this week is PROPHECY.
For those with the time or inclination: Feel free to join in!


Sorry, mum, running late, be there soon, xxx.

Barb stared at the text: Her son was sitting next to her.

“No phones at the table, Mother!” Jimmy winked. “How many times did she say that when I was growing up, Dad?”

“Too many, you’d never listen. Come on, Barb, I know it’s your birthday, but you made the rules.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled, and shoved her mobile into her pocket. She didn’t ask about the odd message.

During the meal, her phone vibrated twice, but she ignored it until they’d eaten. She stepped outside and lit up a cigarette.

On my way! Just picking up dad’s whiskey!

Barb frowned: Her son had arrived on time with a bottle of sparkling wine. And now he was standing in her kitchen, doing the dishes with his father. Was this an elaborate joke?

She opened the third message: it was a video clip.

“Something not right here, mum,” Jimmy’s voice whispered. “Look.”

The screen blurred before focusing on a shop doorway. Barb saw a fuzzy blob split in two. The smaller one fell to the ground, and then the screaming started.

“Bloody hell!” The picture began shaking as if someone were running. “Oy, you, drop that knife!”

She heard more screaming and shouting, a shocked grunt, and a heavy thud, followed by ragged breathing.

“Gotta go now. Love you, Mummy. Hug dad for me.”

Then nothing but a dreadful silence.

“Mum!”

Barb shrieked and dropped her phone.

“Didn’t mean to startle you.” Jimmy stood in front of her, a bemused look on his face. “Becky’s rung on the landline; she couldn’t get through on your mobile.” He stooped to pick it up. “Doesn’t appear to be damaged.”

“Good.” She gave him a strained smile and hurried indoors to talk with her daughter. Barb didn’t mention the disturbing messages because they had disappeared. She wondered if she was going mad, but didn’t have time to dwell on it. She had a week to prepare for her husband’s birthday.

At six o’clock that evening, she received a text:

Sorry, mum, running late, be there soon, xxx.

Fibbing Friday: Ghost Written

Di (Pensitivity101) hosts Fibbing Friday where truth is not an option!
To join in tag your answers #FibbingFriday and link back to Fibbing Friday.


Who wrote these tall tales?

1. The Mystery
We will never know…

2. Dances with The Wolverine
Hugh Jackman’s wife.

3. Who Killed Roland Rabbit
Beatrix Potter.

4. The Taming of the Crew
Jeff Bezos.

5. Far from the Maddening Crowd
Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex.

6. The Golden Crown
King Charles III

7. Up, Up and Away
Amelia Earhart.

8. Bottoms Up
A proctologist called Nigel Keister.

9. For Whom the Bell Tinkles
Peter Pan.

10. A Dog’s Day
Garfield the Cat.

One-Liner Wednesday: Running Up That Hill

The first London Marathon was held today in 1981.
Here’s a shout-out to all the runners.


Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet. It’s also very good for the ground. If makes it feel needed.
Charles M. Schulz


When you run the marathon, you run against the distance, not against the other runners and not against the time.
Haile Gebrselassie

LindaGHill hosts One-Liner Wednesday. This is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the theme. Check out her blog for the rules, read other one-liners, and join in the fun!

Song Lyric Sunday: Nevermind, I’ve Got a Pocket Full of Kryptonite!

Jim Adams is the host for Song Lyric Sunday. This week’s theme is Grunge.


We should be in Seattle in the mid-eighties, where a new style of music is about to kick off, ushering in songs with raw vocals and distorted electric guitar. And angst, lots of angst.

Unfortunately, most of that scene passed me by. So, when I saw the prompt, I thought of Nirvana and the Spin Doctors. Oops, got half of that wrong.

In my defence, these groups were contemporaries and wore the same style of grungey clothes. But I never registered the fact they came from different time zones and had different musical classifications.

And I am going to wallow in my ignorance and inflict the Spin Doctors on you all. Here they are with their 1992 hit about marrying for love and not wealth, Two Princes.

One, two princes kneel before you, that what I said now
Princes, princes who adore you, just go ahead now
One has diamonds in his pockets, that’s some bread, now
This one said he wants to buy you rockets, ain’t in his head, now

This one he got a princely racket, that’s what I said now
Got some big seal upon his jacket, ain’t in his head now
You marry him, your father will condone you, how ’bout that now
You marry me, your father will disown you, he’ll eat his hat, now

Marry him or marry me, I’m the one that loved you baby can’t you see?
Ain’t got no future or family tree, but I know what a prince and lover ought to be
I know what a prince and lover ought to be

Said if you want to call me baby, just go ahead now
And if you like to tell me maybe, just go ahead now
And if you wanted to buy me flowers, just go ahead now
And if you like to talk for hours, just go ahead now

Said one, two princes kneel before you, that what I said now
Princes, princes who adore you, just go ahead now
One has diamonds in his pockets, and that’s some bread, now
This one he wants to buy you rockets, ain’t in his head, now

Marry him or marry me, I’m the one that loved you baby can’t you see?
Ain’t got no future or family tree, but I know what a prince and lover ought to be
I know what a prince and lover ought to be

Said if you want to call me baby, just go ahead now
And if you like to tell me maybe, just go ahead now
And if you wanted to buy me flowers, just go ahead now
And if you like to talk for hours, just go ahead now

And if you want to call me baby, just go ahead now
And if you like to tell me maybe, just go ahead now
And if you like to buy me flowers, just go ahead now
And if you like to talk for hours, just go ahead now

If you want to call me baby, just go ahead now
And if you like to tell me maybe, just go ahead now
If you want to buy me flowers, just go ahead now
And if you like to talk for hours, just go ahead now

Oh Baby!, Just go ahead now
Oooh!, Just just go ahead now
Oooh, your majesty!, Just go ahead now
Come on forget the King who… marry me! (just go ahead now)

Songwriters: Aaron Comess, Eric Schenkman, Chris Barron & Mark White
© Sony/ATV Songs LLC, Mow B’jow Music Inc